Last Year - Lack of conviction will only allow to reach till IIM S interview

The year started with CAT 2008 result and as expected I was not one of the successful candidate ...but thought I will be one who will be in the list of successful candidate in next year list.
Determined not to think of anything else but prepare for CAT. I could see that to be the only way to move ahead in life. The dedication with which I read and appeared in Mock CAT never allowed me to think that eventually I will not achieve what I am capable off. But with every MOCK CAT things kept changing ...my determination and conviction kept changing .....instead of blaming my performance ...I thought I will do what ever is required on the D Day ...but see what happened on that day ....got an unexpected paper (till that day I thought it would really help me ) .....and i crumbled/succumbed to the pattern .....Lost all hope after seeing the results published by institutes. Then went for exams like IIFT/XAT and FMS.
Hardely expecting anything and year changed .....on result day ....i saw IIMS call.....i thought ...ohhhh...ok it is for everyone who appeared in CAT .....but later realised ...they are in search of people like me ....lack of conviction,deterination and if put into a competitive ambience can excel in comparison to peers ......hope I make it there :)

Friends Forever

Now after settling down in Gurgaon it was time to look back for friends with whom I was with few months back. When Prateek came for his VISA interview I couldn't gather courage to see him off till bus stand because I don't know why but I knew that I would not be able to control my eyes. In these few days when evr I remeber Prateek I always remember his words which says that we would be hardely in touch with one another and if it happen then it will be restricted to a handfew. I think he was quite right in his observation. When almost everyother of my batchmates is in HYD or Bangalore I simply remember guys like Wardesh, Dhote, Prateek and Bawari. I never realised that I and share so many things so we were not simply roomie in 3 yr but we exchange a bit of telepathy. The day I was thinking to give him a call, same night he called me can not be a mere coincidence rather it proves my hypothesis. When I was talking to him I didn't feel anything except talking to an old acquintence but later I realised that how much I miss them.......Friends Forever

MY new daily routine

It has been almost 20 days working for EVS. I never realised that getting up at 6.15 is not a difficult task . Everyday starts with a missed call form transport department of EVS to pick me up from my house and then a circle of pickups before I reach my office. Checking mails and then going for coffee with my Varun, Priyanka and Yashika. As CCD says a lot can happen with a simple harmless cup of coffee, I too listen to there talks and give my input if required. In such a small interval of time we have become friends and started sharing thoughts. Then back to work doing a lot of work in EXCEL, I never realised that these many features are available in it when I was in IIT, though in my perception I was using a lot of features of EXCEL which even my batchmates were not aware. Lunch at usual time 1 pm when again the same gang. I really like them. Beside them others are friendly too. After a break of half an hour again back to work. Visiting lot of sites and reading annual reports of so many companies has been my job so far with an exception of few days when I am treated as EXPERT who knows everything of PAPER INDUSTRY whenever client querries are there related to it. At 5 I really loose interest in work and start getting ready for leaving office. Finally at 5.30 pm again picked up in a cab and back to my place. Viewing TV is only thing I generally do all the evening along with reading magazines.

My new destination

Hey hibernation period of 1.5 months is over and now I have joined a completely new domain. I have grown an undergrad to Business Analyst. I am really happy to be here but still the nostalgic feeling to leaving all my buddies hasn't faded and i think it can never fade in entire life.
Few days back Prateek came for VISA interview, when he was leaving I went see him off, I went back from the mid way because I was knowing I will feel very bad once he is off to home.

I m trying to adjust to new environmenthope I do it ASAP.

Nostalgic moments of separation

At the present juncture of time no body can better understand how bound we were during our 4 yr of stay in the department other than my batchmates. Whenever they are leaving my heart gets filled with emotions and thoughts about "God knows when we are going to see each other again".
It was time when some of us spend almost 24 hr of the day with each other and when he is leaving it is really difficult to hide our emotions .

The way Bawari gave me a hug and we wept it spoke all we wanted to convey to each other.


I will miss you guys.

The Grand Revival

After 12 th April it took me 2 days to take some hard decisions so that I could help my self in doing something which I really wanted not just to enjoy a good life.
I decided not to ask my superiors for my admission in SUNY- ESF rather I thought of joining Evalueserve. I thought may be that is the way I am destined to achieve higher accolades in life.
With 2 days of deep retrospection and discussion with Dad finally I think what ever decision I have taken will surely help me in coming time.
And finally see after 5 days I am back to normal and feeling just gr8 thinking about lot of new stuff which I will be enjoying in the coming 6 months or so in my new assignment as a Business Analyst in EVS.

Hope I keep my cherry mood like this .....

Main aisa kyoon hoon ......

I feel like every time I force myself in a situation where I doesn't fit in then I take some emotional decisions and let myself down ...................
after serious introspection too I can't find a reason GOD do help me out in knowing myself.................

Never Thought it will be only Yaadein

Not a single day during my stay in US I ever realized that those will be the only days I will be staying in USA .........everything which I use to see I use to think that I am going to see it again but alas now it is more than clear that at least I am not going to US in coming fall for my MS ......can't help it bcz US universities have expressed there unwillingness to take me there ...........
Good bye Ravi-------US

Why so ???

Why am I so dejected from last few days , I don't want to go home neither do I want to see my old pals from Sainik School ....Is it the problem associated of non confirmation of admission or something else.....I think I know but I don't want to accept it . Every now an then I keep on searching something by which I can at least waste some of my time ....joined Cogni team to have it but alas I am of no use there too ......

God why I am like this ??????

Am I really what I now think I should be ?

Its really confusing and its driving me addle .......Every day in last few days I felt that what is the real use of wasting my time on damn studies.... Is this what I wanted to be after all.. may be I can say I wanted to be having a respectable position in studies may be the topper ... but never thought that it will not be accompanied by the other funny moments of the life ....I am of no use .....i can't dance , sing .....I really feel like becoming guys who r near me ... I wanna look like them who are having care free attitude... but the point is that can I become like that ........Can I throw so many things from my mind.....The first and form est thing which I think should go from me is EGO ... it will prevent me from scaling new heights ... so no more messing with people even if they directly attack me on any issue .......to be carefree one need to bring it from within ......what do I need really now .......why don't I pursue what I want .....I appreciate dancing , singing ,painting and other form of art so why not give it a shot .....may be guitar or any such stuff which can really keep me busy and don't let me feel lonely......I am having a job to do even if calls doesn't come so why to worry for that ....if they come its ok .........even if I go there I should pursue what I really want ......
So from now onwards no more EGO and I will be a humble, modest guy in very less time .....hope I could get out some time for what I really wanted to do in my leisure time .....

Why such odd feelings??????????

The night b4 Test series generally i use to mug a lot in previous semesters but today i m not taking enough pain to even go through the minimum requirement to sit in exam......why so is pretty obvious that who cares and how it is going to effect me .....or may be complacency.....

Beside that today I suddenly realized that I m still alone and the people I use to call friends till date were mere mates ......may be that is mainly due to the over expectations ....may be due to some other reason ....but strange feelings keep cropping in my heart as well as brain....
plzzz i wanna come out of this feeling........lets hope by morning I am over it ...but who knows ....

I never realised that I am such a person who is completely different not only from other's perspective but also from my own too......

Maa ke Darshan

After a long talking session with only odour specialist in packaging paper (u can make out about whom I m talking) we 7 guys went to Vaishnodevi. Started moving on the inclination at around 12 in noon and reached arthakunwari at around 2 . Newly wed couple were flocking here and there and we were enjoying the nature's finest creation in all aspects.

The real fun was passing through the garbha I was not sure whether I can make it or not the more u get inside the more adventurous and twisty it became ..but anyhow I made it ... then again we moved on and on for 6 kms or so (god we were not sure if they were measuring distance or displacement in kms.

Got on the top it was really thrilling there and finally we went to bhairaw nath . Then started the journey back to Katra but we never realised that we have moved some 16 kms. back until we reached almost to the bottom and found that our muscles have started colliding with each other and we were in staggered position ....

slept a lot till we came back to insti.....

After Intern life kept going to the minima .....

It is long time I came back to jot down something ......
After coming back from my intern I was a bit perplexed and underconfident due to my GRE preparation and Finally that D Day (24 th August ) made me realised that I am one the greatest underachiever of all time .....got a sucking score of 1290 (shame on me !!!!!!!!!!!!!) ....Came out of examination center and was in such a disastrous condition that a snake charmer asked me for a rupee coin which I gave without thinking ... then he asked what ever is in your pocket just get a snake kiss on it and I was not in a negotiating position and ina hurry to leave the place I took out a 5o Rs note and placed it ...the charmer made the snake swallow it ....afterwards is well known phenomenon and I became IDIOT and STUPID ....went to KV sir's apartment and slept afterwards ....stayed there in Gurgaon for next 3 days so that I can come out of that frustrating situation thanx a lot to PVR which gave me some time away from that thinking environment .....after 7 days I had to appear for TOEFL so I thought it is going to be yet another disaster so didn't care to go through anything......The day for TOEFL came and I went to Dehradoon for it ......I was the lone examinee on that day ......So I think may be due to that I had less fear and finally I was over with this game ......Results were out and I somehow managed to get a respectable score.......
NOW started the real pain excersise as my frds kept me pestering that the scores are immaterial and I should apply to different universities , even my frd at Cornell gave his example (incidently he too got the same score) Due to bad score I was not happy and was literally thinking for some work which can kep me busy ( I was knowing that studies at this stage can't do that favour to me ) Thanks a lot to my dear ORKUT which brought few of my childhood buddies and from then onward every day I kept spending most of my time chatting with them and at the end of the day I found that I was able to spend all my 24 hrs without much tension.....
Studies took a back sheet and non of the course were fascinating......so it became a 2 night stand for me b4 examation(I am not brave enough like most of my batchmate who r ok with 1 night)
so every day became same affair ......
Now I kept browsing the websites of various universities and i was looking for environmental engineering course ........after 2 months of rigrous browsing (so called !!!!!!!!!) i realised that I don't want to go for it so I started browsing for Chemical Engineering........


Next coming is the appli process and the job schedule

Luncheon with Dr. Ramarao

Hi guys
Was excited to have it bcz it is not a phenomenon we generally come across in India. Dr. Ram along with Sergey Larykov , Sharad Singh and Timoffy went for luncheon . We sat in volvo car of Dr. Ram but couldn't moved a few yards and it went off so switched over to nice car of Sergey . In the way we kept on talking (first time we talked about anything else other tha project with Dr. Ramarao and Sergey).Dr. Ram enquired about my city and all the places near by Samastipur then we started talking about Timoffy who had taken a break from his busy schedule and is staying in woods with his 2 frds and will be there till early next year . Dr. Ram was asking about things like food water and all those stuff which one need if he is away from society. Suddenly Dr. Ram asked anyone vegeterian I owned up so he moved to Indian restaurant Saoutta . Once we got inside it I can find the Indian touch there as we can listen to the song of FANNA and see our tricolour placed just beside the US flag . The food was all that we eat in India including snacks like samosa and all .
We had a nice lunch Dr. Ram asked everyone about beer everyone gave one or the other excuse like Sergey told he only have mexican beer not the indian one or even Hawaiin one . Sharad Singh told soda will be ok and for me he saked if I 'm 21 . Before I could have said something Sergey told I m not an US citizen so it doesn't apply on me but Dr. Ram told in India Undergraduates are not allowed to have alcohal so I was not offered (hey i don't regret it)
Then we came back Dr Ram was talking only about India his days in India and his early childhood days problems he faced and then he told see these things we already have so we don't need to go to wood Tim
Then we discussed about unemployment problem in India and he told that stupid people from US will go there and indulge in altercation with taxi drivers for 3 -4 Rs which was shocking to Sergey and Tim

My Exposure to Swindler foods of USA

Guys guys first time in US i kept working till 3.45 am in morning hey that was simply bcz i became free only after 2.30 once we completed PHIR HERA PHERI and i thought it will be good to do some pending job .Usually those jobs are for weekends but if u sleep like anything on those days u have to .......
So i got up at 9.07 am Goooooooood my bus is at 9.15 either i catch it or i have to go on feet to college .
Quickly i got ready and started from my apartment Tahiliani sir was sleeping without any tension as his guide was not there in US .The bus which I was supposed to catch come usually late by 10 minutes but today it came only 5 minutes late and i couldn't catch it at either stops so I moved on feet towards college thinking so many things mostly related to our very own Department of Paper Technology.
I reached college started the job which i couldn't completed last night to hell with it it is really cumbersome to see all those data and find result out of it .
I thought to make a call to tahiliani sir to inform him that I m in college just i was picking the phone it rang on its own but in the meanwhile i had already picked it up and kept it down .Then after few seconds again phone rang i picked it up .From the other side i heard a voice of old lady asking for me in a different accent I told you are talking to him only Then she told me that I have won a Chappel's cup and i have to collect it as i was not sure what she was saying i asked her to repeat it again by making some excuse .Then i found that i won it in a lottery conducted in trade fair in syracuse campus on last friday hey every store has a lottery with lot of free stuff i got a Kool cap lot of pens lot of things to gobble and now a chappel cup too .
Then in afternoon i collected it and went to FAGITA GRILL a restaurant with tahiliani sir.God we ordered something i don't know the name but to tell u the truth it was a tortella chappati which wraps rajma ,rice ,capsicum,cabbbage ,spinachsalad sauces and other things in 3.79 $each
I went through it (can't say eat) but the best part was that the drink was free on monday so we had sprit and coke .Thought i will never come here again may be after going through this experience it will be nice to have food at home or try only stuffs like pizza

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Chance to celebrate weekend

Hi
I got up early in the morning at around 8 so that i can be on time today for my b'fast else i have to take it once i reach my office in college.After having my b'fast i was still having time so i took washed clothes from by bag to wear I also changed my socks .I can't imagine that these things are really true today as i have ben thinking to do so for last 7 days but couldn';t do it due to lack of TIME
 I slowely moved towards bus stop after reaching there also i have around 20 minuteseft for the schedule arrival of bus.Mittal sir was standing there so i started chatting with him about my experiments about his family nad all those bakc****.
After waiting for around 25 min bus sudenly appeared in front of me mittal sir took out his purse then i realised that i am without my purse which contain my ID card without which i couldn't board this bus for free and as i have no money so couldn't pay 1$ for ride .Then I left the scene and moved towards home to pick my purse after going almost mid way i realised that anyhow I am not going to get other bus so it is better to go to college on foot without going home .I started towards College in a bit pace .I reached there in arpund 14 minutes and was late by 8 minutes if i would have come by bus
But i was having no problem as no body cares when i arrive and when i leave.
I called tahiliani sir and told to bring my purse but as i aws 100%sure he will not bring as he is burning his calorie and wants me to be his partener in his way of burning calorie by moving on feet.
I met Dr. ramarao he asked Hey ravi whats up ????
Sarah came in office to see me off but was a bit busy doing my clerical job for whole day plotting graphs on excel and finding regression coefficient and all those crap.He gave me a good news that i will be demonstrating my equipment and other equipment on which i will work to some intellectual fellows from international paper science fraternity in weeks to come
In afternoon i enjoyed a fair where i got a lot of free pens a lot of chance to win soft toys and all those stuff hey i got free cookies pastry and all.
Then i went to hospital to get tahiliani sir checked .
I came back and then again started doing job of clerk
I left college and came to house on foot and was relieved that tomorrow i don't haver to see college again

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Kuuch chijeen ......

On the very first day of my arrival in this country I was going out with Tahiliani sir and Gangesh sir , I couldn't see a single person on road who so ever were moving were moving in cars . Then when i was passing by a house a women was standing out of her house doing some work (i thought it is gardening related work) She waved at us and said Hi how r u today???

Guess my next expression when both gangesh sir and tahiliani sir said fine how r u ???

I asked them do u know them but after these 15 days of my stay in USA i know how stupid i was to ask that silly question to them

 

 

 

Now yesterday i was bereft of having a glimpse of barbers in USA as i was picked by sharad sir to visit carousal mall (biggest in USA as said by sharad sir i don't know how much true it is ) I heard from gangesh sir that when they go for hair cut do u know how they tell those people what they want to be done with there hair ,

guess

 

 

 

Ramesh sir carries a pic in which he is in proper hair cut he showes it to barber and ask to replicate it on his head

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Next Pic with my equipment

The equipment and me (Only I know how much irritating it is )

SUNY -ESF and my room there of course through my camera's eye

Hi Friends
This is the room where I am supposed to stay for maximum hours of my stay in SUNY-ESF apart from my cool office as my equipments related to project are here only. I do stay here religiously because apart from work (which is ofcourse a second priority job ) I also feel the beauty of room as it is maintained at 50%RH and 15 C temperature and orkut is always there to help me out

My second weekend in US

guys subah to raat ka extension thi kyoonki main 5 baje soya tha 2.30 baje tak prateek aur bawari ka intazaar karta raha then we talked like girls for more than 2 hrs or so .So weekend's morning started at 12.30 noon unlike everyday i got wake up calls from tahiliani sir one who always sleeps till 9 or 10 in morning so at least today he got a chance to ask me to get up . onec i saw the watch i became restless bcz i missed a chance to have breakfast as till then lunch was ready
fir kya chaloo ho gaya orkutting . At first i checked my account whether my name is same or tahiliani sir has changed it .Actually i told him that as i know his password on orkut so i'm going to change his name to I LOVE HRISHITA BHATT(bcz he was showing affection towards her during our exposure to indian students politics in movie Hassil).In response he told that He will attack on my personal profile and my name will be changed to I LOVE......blah blah (i don't wanna disclose now).Alas i was completely safe as nothing such has taken place  so like a nice person I also left his name intact without destroying it .
Mujhe ab kuuch kaam hi nahi mil raha tha upper se vineet sir gande scrap karke mujhe tang kar rahe the ki ja bahar ja ghoom kar aa . I started seeing movie KRANTI (kya karoon baki sari dekhi hui thi)
Movie khatam hui aur mera lunch bhi fir as i have not slept for night so i slept suddenly i got a bang on my door ,Tahiliani sir was standing there asking me to come out and get inside car to roam around. Badi muskil se uth paya ek to raat ki neend puri nahi hui thi upper se KRANTI ka bhi asar tha . Fir we went to a place where things were kept for sale (house hold appliances).  We reached there but couldn't find the owner(cute babes )who called us to purchase it from them .
Kismat ki khel dekho we came across the doctor again who was one of the doctor who operated gangesh sir but gave a heart attack to tahiliani sir. That is the same doctor of indian origin .But till this time we have came to know that she is married so u can well understand the reason for tahiliani sir's heart attack .
Fir wahan se hum highway par move karne lage pahunch gaye ek dukan me jahan se mujhe kuuch nahi kharidna tha it was a shop of oriental non veg items.
AB HUA NA KHEL SURU
when we came out of shop our car went out of order it was not starting so u can understand what was our situation mujhe to kuuch bhi nahi ho raha tha kyoonki mere saath to sir the suru hua phone calls ka chakkar thodi door par ek petrol pump tha one of the guy with us was familiar to owner of that pump so we went there for help . He was not there but his attendent gave us the no. of mechanic and in the mean while one of the frd of that guy who wsa with us came with his gfriend to help us out . He too tried but left without helping us with a assurance that if nothing becomes good in few hours then he will come to pick us . Then came the mechanic (to tell u frankly his car was better than ours). He tried to jump start it but alas he couldn't do it .Fir kya humne aur bhi bahut sare logon ko phone kiya . One of our senior(roorkee chemical 2004 pass out )Sharad singh told us to call AAA a automobile service provider which take care of your vehicle for one year if u r a member of it . Lyuckily the owner of Car Ramesh sir was the member but he was in India and we don't have his memebership no. a prerequisite to take help  ab kya kareen kuuch samajh nahi aaya in sab me 8.30 baj chuke the (2 ghante se hum wahin the).Then tahlu sir called nilay sameer sir who also had that facility god unka card gari me hi tha so we used that to call AAA. tab jake jaan me jaan aayi fir hum wait karte rahe service provider ka .Woh mechanic pata nahi america me bina paisa liye kaise chala gaya humne usse poocha ki if we can give u something but he refuted (waise hamare pass cash tha bhi nahi only credit and debit cards were there I was the richest among them in terms of hard cash and that was 2$ which i have been keeping for my safety with a credit card). fir hum raod par kahare ho kar intazaar karte rahe  karte rahe aur karte hi rahe beech beech me phone karke poochte kab aa rahi hai service god unki sweet voice hame kuuch kahne bhi nahi deti .  10 baje we got the help one man came with truck and towed our car and gave us lift in his truck to our apartment
god main wapas aa gaya par kya faiyada cold drink bhi nahi la saka aur khane ki chijjen kharidne fir jana hoga

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